4 Ways to Be a Good Divorced Parent

 Posted on November 05, 2018 in Divorce

No one gets married thinking they will get divorced someday. But when a divorce occurs, former spouses may feel like they are lost in a new, unfamiliar world, and may allow the stress of a divorce to impact how they treat their children, or they may feel that they are involved in a competition for a child’s love now that they do not see them all the time. Sometimes, adults alter their parenting in ways that do not help their children or themselves. 

Here are four ways to approach parenting which will protect important parent-child relationships and allow your family to heal from the difficulties of divorce:

1. Do Not Try to Buy Affection

When splitting custody for the first time, it is understandable for parents to want their children to enjoy their time with them to the fullest. Unfortunately, this can turn into a spending war to see who can give the most gifts or plan the most expensive activities. If your ex takes your children to an expensive amusement park or buys them a new gaming system, do not feel like you have to top that the next week. The best thing you can do is provide the stability and support they need and appreciate.

2. Create an Interactive Relationship

Many adults have become smartphone addicts, and that tendency is too often passed down to their kids. Time once spent engaging in conversation and playing together now involves semiconscious tapping on a screen to look at social media or play games. Try to limit screen time for both parents and children. Instead, play games together and seek entertainment outdoors when you can. This will help everyone be healthier and happier.

3. Create New Family Traditions 

It might be painful to go to places you used to go as a family when you and your spouse were married. Instead, do something else. Your divorce gives you the chance to do new things or see different places. Try a new park, a local festival, or a town or city you have never been to. There are no wrong answers. Not all of your ideas will be winners, but you might discover a new tradition to enjoy with your children, and they may even continue it with their own kids someday.

4. Keep Disagreements Away from Your Children

Even the most civil of divorces have their share of arguments. The key is to do any verbal sparring over the phone and out of earshot of your children. They are dealing with a lot of changes already, and listening to bickering parents will not help them move on during this difficult time. Also, try not to always rely on text messaging with your ex. Sometimes, innocent comments get misunderstood, are somehow turned into something ugly, and leave a regrettable word trail.

Contact a Hillside Family Law Attorney

Civility goes a long way in making divorce less painful for children and former spouses alike. The Law Office of Vincent C. Machroli, P.C. can help you to reach agreements which benefit everyone. Contact our Oak Park divorce attorney at 708-449-7400 for a free consultation.

Sources:

https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/how-to-be-a-great-divorced-dad/