Avoid These Mistakes During Your Illinois Custody Dispute

 Posted on September 30, 2022 in Divorce

While disputes over parenting time and parental responsibilities are commonly some of the most difficult aspects of a divorce to resolve, some parents go above and beyond normal levels of conflict and try to prevent the other parent from having any access to the children at all. Sometimes, this behavior is based on legitimate concerns about a spouse’s parental fitness because of a true history of abuse, neglect or concerning personal behavior. Most of the time, however, high-conflict custody disputes are just an extension of parental interpersonal conflict in which one parent has, or both parents have, decided to use the children to try to get revenge. 

If you are getting divorced or are seeking a child custody modification in Illinois, and your situation has already become very tense, here are three major mistakes to avoid as your case plays out in court. 

Mistake #1: Try to Convince a Judge that Your Spouse is the Bad Guy

Illinois family law judges have seen it all. They are highly attuned to the possibility that a parent might be using false allegations to try to gain the upper hand in court. If you are truly concerned that your child’s other parent is an unfit parent, provide clear,  unbiased evidence that supports your allegations. Do not call the other parent names, lose your temper in court appearances, leave threatening voicemails or give a judge any reason to believe your allegations are based more on a personal vendetta than objective truth. This includes making tasteless social media posts about the other parent, which can be easily accessed and produced as evidence in court. 

Mistake #2: Ignore Court Orders

Even if you hate the idea of your child spending all or most of their time with their other parent, if a judge has issued a parenting time order restricting your access to a child, follow it to the letter. If your ex has made false allegations about abuse or neglect and a judge has instated a temporary protective order, follow its terms, no matter how offended you may be or how absurd you think the allegations are. The best way to show you are unreliable or untrustworthy is to violate the terms of a court order. 

Mistake #3: Take Your Frustrations Out on Your Kids

Kids are perceptive and often pick up on more than adults think they do. Despite the fact that your children will almost certainly know that you and your ex are fighting over custody, do not discuss the case with them except to calmly mention important developments or factual information, and keep the conversation age-appropriate. Do not trash talk the other parent to your child. Do not coach your child about what to say or remind them of incidents involving the other parent’s bad behavior. Protect your children as much as possible from the conflict and instead share your frustrations and concerns about the case with a close friend, a therapist, and/or your attorney. 

Contact a Skilled Oak Park Child Custody Dispute Lawyer Today

At the Law Office of Vincent C. Machroli, P.C., protecting your relationship with your children is our Hillside, IL child custody dispute attorney’s priority. Since 1988,  our office has worked with numerous divorced and divorcing parents whose access to their children is being threatened by an angry or overzealous spouse, and we will work diligently to disprove false allegations against you. For help in dealing with a high-conflict custody dispute, contact our offices today for a free consultation at 708-449-7404. 

Source: 

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000050HPt%2E+VI&ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8675000&SeqEnd=12200000