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Hillside, IL 60162
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Recent Blog Posts
The Benefits of Adopting a Stepchild Who Has an Absent Parent
In the United States, a divorce is granted about once every 36 seconds, adding up to approximately 2,400 marriages ended every day. Although the divorce rate is 40% lower for families with children, nearly 50% of children born to married couples will witness the dissolution of their biological parents' marriage by the time they reach age 18. Many studies document the negative effects of divorce on children, but having two parents who stay involved with their children can minimize many of these effects. However, if one parent is willingly absent, a stepparent adoption can provide many benefits to both parents and children.
What It Means for a Stepparent to Adopt
There are more blended families in the United States today than ever before in history. The “his, hers, and ours” family is becoming commonplace, along with same-sex family adoptions. It has become well established that the term “family” does not necessarily refer to any existing biological link, but refers instead to who you choose to love and who loves you in return.
Telling Your Children About A Divorce Decision
Children naturally want their parents to remain married forever. This desire typically stems more from the child’s fear of the unknown than from any other source. When parents decide to divorce, this may not even be a surprise to children, since by the time they reach this decision, parents may have undergone a trial separation, or children may have observed a significant amount of conflict in the home. However, even in those situations, hearing the news of a pending divorce is a conversation that children will remember the rest of their lives. As parents, we can work to protect our children’s best interests by following these tips for guiding the discussion in a healthy and constructive direction:
Break the News Together
When you discuss divorce with your children, you and your spouse should do so together in a united manner. This conversation is not the time nor the place for bitterness or resentment. Even if one spouse is not on board with the decision to divorce, it is in the best interests of the children to incorporate the word “we” as much as possible and make it appear as a joint decision. Keep in mind that this is emotionally difficult for your children as well. When you present the information as a team, it shows that you both are willing and able to work together.
Things to Consider Before Getting Remarried to Your Ex-Spouse
It is not uncommon that following a divorce, newly single spouses seek companionship again. After experiencing the intimacy and partnership of marriage, individuals are equipped with a deeper understanding of themselves and their interests, morals, and overall life goals. Having experienced the benefits of a close relationship, marriage becomes an option once more for many divorcees.
It may be interesting to discover that many previously married couples find that love again with each other, even after they have gone through contentious courtroom divorce battles. However, it is best to proceed with caution when considering remarriage to a former spouse, as post-decree concerns may put a damper on a future wedding.
The Grass Was Not Greener
While there are no official statistics indicating how many divorced couples later decide to remarry each other, the topic is becoming more commonly discussed than in previous decades. Social media has made it easier for people to stay in communication with each other, even if a significant amount of time has elapsed since their divorce.
Financial Planning for a Divorce – Taking the First Steps
Divorce can be a complex and arduous process since there are numerous potential pitfalls and challenges – and money is often the greatest concern. However, many parties overlook important financial planning details when they first file for divorce. The result of this oversight can range in severity from a minor loss of some funds to complete financial devastation. Learn how to mitigate against the potential money issues in your Illinois divorce with effective financial planning, and discover how an experienced divorce lawyer is able to help.
Start Your Post-Divorce Budget Now
It may seem a bit premature to be planning your post-divorce budget at the time the case is filed, but having a clear idea of how much money you may bring in (and what you expect to spend) as you work through the divorce process can save you a great deal of time, money, and stress in the future. Consider also how you plan to spend any post-divorce settlement. Will you sell the marital house and move into a smaller place to give yourself more financial breathing room, month to month? Who will pay for the kids’ college expenses? Also, do not forget to save for personal goals, such as vacations or a new vehicle.
Establishing Paternity in Illinois
In a marriage, the paternity of a child is automatically established. But this is not the case when the biological parents are unmarried. In that situation, the father is deemed an “alleged father” until he and the mother either acknowledge paternity, or receive a confirmation of paternity, either through the courts or through the Illinois Department of Healthcare and Family Services (DHFS). Learn more about establishing paternity in Illinois, including how it can be done and why you should do it, and discover why the assistance of an experienced family law attorney should be obtained.
Why Establish Paternity?
At first glance, the purpose of establishing paternity may seem to be about money, because a father may be obligated to pay child support if he and the biological mother are not residing together. However, fathers can also reap benefits if they pursue an establishment of paternity. For example, fathers can still have the right to pursue custody of their children, should the mother ever lose her parental rights or become incapacitated for any reason. Fathers can also seek parenting time and an allocation of parental responsibilities, both of which give them bonding time and decision-making power in the life of their child.
Protecting Your Child from the Negative Effects of Divorce
It used to be said that children were resilient, and they could recover easily from divorce. We now know this is not true. Recent studies suggest that children may experience a host of problems during and after a divorce, including everything from emotional, behavioral, and mental health problems, to maladjustment and developmental issues. Thankfully, parents can mitigate against such problems. The following information explains how.
Strive for a Child-Centered Divorce
It might not have felt this way, but your child has always been separate from your marriage. Yes, you and your spouse may have conceived and parented together, but the relationship that each of you has with your child is individual, special, and unique. Though the marriage is ending, the bond between the child and each parent remains. Parents who remember this and strive to protect not just their own relationship with the child, but also the child’s relationship with the other parent, often see fewer negative issues arise with their children during and after the divorce process. So, watch what you say around your child, and avoid oversharing details about the divorce, and you may successfully protect your child’s need for unconditional love, time, and attention from both parents.
Children, Narcissism, and Parental Alienation – How to Combat This Perfect Divorce Storm
Divorcing a spouse that is on the narcissism spectrum is not an easy task. The situation can become even more challenging if there are children involved. Already vulnerable to the potentially harmful effects of divorce, children could be used as pawns by the narcissist, a tool that can be used against the other parent.
This kind of activity, known as parental alienation, can have a lifelong negative impact on every relationship that the child will ever have – and that includes the relationship they have with you. Learn how to reduce the risk of this occurring in your divorce, and discover how an experienced divorce attorney can help.
Narcissism and Parental Alienation
Parental alienation and narcissism do not always occur together, but the risk of that happening is certainly higher when your spouse is a narcissist. Part of this problem could be due to the way that family courts handle parental alienation allegations, but the biggest and, perhaps, most influential factor is the narcissist’s disorder. Most are charmers, meaning they can win over almost anyone.
Protecting Your Child from the Negative Effects of Divorce
It used to be said that children were resilient, and they could recover easily from divorce. We now know this is not true. Recent studies suggest that children may experience a host of problems both during and after divorce, from emotional, behavioral and mental health problems, to maladjustment and developmental issues. Thankfully, parents can mitigate against such problems. The following information explains how.
Strive for a Child-Centered Divorce
It might not have felt this way, but your child has always been separate from your marriage. Yes, you and your spouse may have conceived and parented together, but the relationship that each of you has with your child is individual, special, and unique. Though the marriage is ending, the bond between the child and each parent will remain. Parents who remember this and strive to protect not just their own relationship with the child, but also the child’s relationship with the other parent, often see fewer negative issues in their children during and after the divorce process. So, put away the team shirt, watch what you say around your child, and avoid oversharing details about the divorce and you may successfully protect your child’s need for unconditional love, time, and attention from both of their parents.
Establishing Paternity in Illinois
In a marriage, the paternity of a child is automatically established. However, this is not the case when the biological parents are unmarried. Instead, the father is deemed an “alleged father” until he and the mother either acknowledge paternity or receive confirmation of paternity through the courts or Illinois’ Department of Healthcare and Family Services (DHFS). Learn more about establishing paternity in Illinois, including how it can be done and why you should get it done, and see why the assistance of an experienced family law attorney should be obtained.
Why Establish Paternity?
At first glance, the purpose of establishing paternity may seem to be about money. After all, a father may be obligated to pay child support if he and the biological mother are not residing together. However, fathers can also reap several benefits if they pursue establishing paternity legally. For example, fathers can still have the right to pursue custody of their child, should the mother ever lose her rights or become incapacitated for any reason. Fathers can also seek parenting time and allocation of parental responsibilities, which gives them bonding time and decision-making power in the life of their child.
Creative Parenting Plan Solutions for Your Illinois Divorce
When parents file for divorce, they are required to complete a parenting plan document which outlines their wishes on parenting time and the allocation of parental responsibilities. Of course, since every family is unique, each parenting plan is (and should be) different. However, these variances in needs, desires, and circumstances can make what sounds like a straightforward process rather complicated. Learn how to make the most of your parenting plan by adopting some creative parenting plan solutions that may address your family’s unique needs.
Consider Your Child’s Age
Perhaps one of the biggest mistakes that parents make when designing their parenting plan is not taking their child’s age, activities, or personality into account – yet these factors can greatly influence their specific needs. For example, it might make sense for an infant who has spent most of their life with a stay-at-home parent to have more parenting time with that parent. However, child mental health professionals typically recommend more frequent transitions for young children, as they need a great deal of time with both parents to ensure proper bonding. Depending on your situation, a two day stay with one parent, & then a two day stay with the other parent, and then three days back with the first parent may be the appropriate schedule until the child is a bit older. At that point, the family may want to consider going to a 2-2-5 parenting arrangement, instead.
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